Bow to the absurd

OK, OK, stop. Seriously GOP/Fox News, just stop it. You're making yourselves look plain old fashioned silly.


I'm referring to the latest deliberate dust up of dumb coming over the news feeds. The fact that the President of the United States bowed to Emperor Akihito of Japan during his visit to my adopted home country last week.


Seriously, this is a joke . . . right? You can't possibly be concerned about this.
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I'm being told by my editors that they are, in fact, serious. By the way, my editors only exist in my head, take that for what you will.

The short version of this story is that the President had a face to face meeting with the Emperor and bowed deeply while shaking his hand. And the problem is . . . What exactly?

The problem is that the Faux News people are all puffed up and outraged over the fact that America bows to NO ONE!! (U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A) and the fact that Emperor Akihito is the son of the Showa Emperor (known in life as Emperor Hirohito), the man who reigned when the Japanese bombed pearl harbor.

As usual, the Fox Noise people are a bunch of idiots. But the REASON that they are idiots and this unique flavor of wrong deserve discussion and examination therefore I present:

THE THREE REASONS YOU SUCK:

1. A BOW DOESN'T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS.

In the western world, a bow has only a handful of uses. A) When admitting defeat or surrender. B) When accepting applause on stage. C) Admitting complete inferiority to another person (Fans bowing to a rock star chanting 'We're not worthy' for example). Under this limited definition, the News Models are absolutely right to be outraged. Unless he just finished a sax performance, the POTUS shouldn't bow to anyone (Oh, wait. They hate the sax guy too).

However, in Japan, the bow is a COMPLETELY different animal. The proper degree and length of a bow changes considerably based on factors such as location, occasion, and the relative social status of the individuals involved. Entire books have been written on this topic, but I will focus on the occasion that that is applicable here, greetings.

In this case, a bow is the cultural equivalent of a handshake. As I explain to my students when teaching the etiquette of a handshake, the origin of both the handshake and the greeting bow is to show trust, peace, and friendship. In other words, you are saying "I trust you enough to expose my neck to you and assume you will be kind enough not to cut my head off." Much like in the west, where the handshake says "I come to you with open hand and I trust you will not stab me now that I am in dagger range."

Besides, the President was on foreign soil. Whenever one travels to another country, it is right and proper for that person to at least try to follow local customs. That is all President Obama was trying to do here. He DID commit one slight social faux pax. While the handshake is fairly common in Japan these days, the two gestures are not supposed to be combined. That's the the official "Miss Manners" etiquette book version. The reality is that these gestures are combined all the bloody time, especially when a nihonjin shakes hands with a foreigner.

Lastly (and this is the snarky version) have you ever seen the Emperor? The guy is tiny! And President Obama is 187cm (or 6 ft 1 in for the imperials out there). That's a few inches taller than me and I feel like a giant most of the time in this country. Obama probably needed to bow to the Emperor just so he could get a good look at him.


2. THE WAR IS OVER YOU DINGBATS!

The second major reason the outrage over this is asinine is the argument that the Emperor is the son of the man who bombed Pearl Harbor. So what? World War II is over. We won. Big time. Get over it!

The mere fact that your ancestors and mine used to be enemies is not a reason for me to be rude to you. By that logic Obama never should have met with, much less given a golden iPod to, the Queen of England because the United States was born from a couple of wars with England. Yes, I know the Conservative Party (and even a few of the Republicans) were P.O.'d over the iPod thing too. I don't care, it's still a valid point.

We must remember that the President is not only the head of the government, but the head of state for the United States. That means the the man is the personification and public face of the nation. In other words, President Obama has to represent what America is to the world. And making friends of former enemies is the highest ideal to which an immigrant nation like the USA can aspire.



3. BOTH SIDES REALLY NEEDED THIS PHOTO OP!


Obama needs to show himself making amends for America's past sins. And being an obnoxious tourist is one of them. Something I've noticed about the Japanese, they respect any effort foreigners make to fit in. Whether it be trying to speak the language, trying to follow the customs, or trying to act like anything other than the stereotypical tourist who flies 5000 miles and then asks where the nearest McDonald's is.

President Obama being shown and photographed trying to perform a traditional greeting to the spiritual leader of the nation will endear him in the hearts and minds of the population(remember, a large number of Japanese citizen remember when this man's father was a living God) and this will only serve to strengthen the bond between allies.


Besides, President Obama is the new international standard of what an American should be (a definite upgrade from Homer Simpson) adding "polite" and "at least he's trying" to the mix can only be a good thing.


On the other hand, this is a good thing for the imperial family as well. Barack Obama is the most popular figure in Japanese politics today. That should tell you something about the Japanese politicians who are, oh I don't know . . . Japanese! Seriously, you can walk into any bookstore in Japan and see dozens of Obama related books. Collections of his speeches, translations of books he's written, photo books, children's books staring his dog, the works. Not to mention the countless children who will happily exclaim "Yes we can!" despite not having the slightest clue what it means.


Compare this to Emperor Akihito who has recently made headlines by . . . having prostrate surgery.
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(Cue: Crickets)
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Oh, and he has an adorable granddaughter. And ducks. He's written some academic papers about ducks.

So the imperial family needed the type of coolness factor upgrade only the Obama-bump can provide. (Yes, I know the Obama-bump pales in comparison to the Colbert-bump, but you take what you can get.)

I know this is asking a lot, but ConservaTwits, will you PLEASE think before you open your mouths? From now on, I propose a three step process for deciding whether or not to attack the President on something. 1) Did it actually happen? 2) Can we prove it? 3) Can we b!$ch about it without looking stupid? If the answer to all three of these questions is "Yes" then go right ahead. If not, shut the hell up!

Until next time, I'm RyuSensei and I'm not kidding.

Someone really needs a smiting

The normal Laws of the Internet demand that I give an explanation for why I haven’t posted to any of my blogs in months. The explanation is: I have a job. And also a life. Also, I don’t have the option to quit my job to go live on Facebook and have a ghostwriter make up write a book about me. By the way Mrs. Palin, we have a phrase for people like you in Japan: NEET. It means Not in Employment Education or Training. It’s much nicer than just saying “bum.”

But I’m not here to talk about the GOP 2012 candidate (please God). I’m here to talk about Jesus, and how he will soon be the coldest hearted, most self centered bastard in history. As soon as the conservatives get through with him anyway.

Now before I go any farther, I should mention that my comments against republicans and conservatives are not intended to apply to all members of those groups. I know, and am good friends with, members of the Republican Party and being around them does not cause me to grow weak and lose control of my superpowers (although they really should get that green glow looked at). However, the people behind this doozy fall into the category of people that deserved to be either A) mocked without mercy or B) hit in the face with a large novelty mallet.

I’m referring to the new project by the people who brought us Conservapedia (and I’m REALLY glad my spell checker doesn’t know that word): The Conservative Bible Project, an attempt by True Americans ^tm to write a “fully conservative translation” of the Bible.

YOU

HAVE

GOT

TO

BE

KIDDING

ME!

OK, now that that’s out of my system, I can get into some of the specifics. Please remember that all of this is taken directly from (and attributed to) conservapedia’s own page on the subject.

The Conservapedia people (here after: nuts) even have their own 10 commandments for how a conservative bible should be written. Here presented with my witty comments.

1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias (Remember, conservative bias is A-OK)

2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity (cause religion is a MAN’s business woman, now git me mah sammich)

3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level^[3] (OK, this one I actually agree with)

4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;^[4] defective translations (i.e. ones that disagree with us) use the word "comrade"(BOO! Communism=yucky) three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle". (How, exactly, do words like “peace” and “miracle” need to be updated?)

5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";^[5] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census (So, the census counts as an addiction?)

6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil. (And we’re not even talking metaphysics, these people think that if you dig far enough, you’ll hit flames. Drill baby, drill!)

7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning (er…most of the “economic parables” had exactly jack to do with economics. That’s like examining Hugh Heffner for his contributions to literature.)

8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story (This refers to the “Let he who is without sin…” story. So the new version is “They brought her before Him and He said ‘kill the bitch.’”)

9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels (OK, I have no problem with this one. Delving into the psyches of biblical characters is a good idea.)

10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God." (That crashing sound you heard was this whole concept collapsing in upon itself like a literary black hole…or is that too wordy for you? Again, on the surface this sounds good. Conciseness is a good idea in most writing, but law 10 conflicts sharply with law 3. Also, I love how skill with the language, one of the main indications of intelligence, is equated with liberalism.)

Now what could possibly be wrong with this? You know, besides everything.

First, rewriting Holy Scripture to suit a political belief, ANY political belief, is wrong and smacks of thousands of years and dozens of countries where the church was corrupted to serve as a propaganda wing of the government. Taking a lesson from my adopted country of Japan, it was when the government started using religion to require daily worship of the Emperor that Japan really started to get serious about expanding the empire. Long story short: Pearl Harbor.

Beyond that, the character that they are creating, this Conservachrist, person seems to be a real A-hole. First, they are deleting the story of “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” The justification for this is that the story doesn’t flow well with the rest of the chapter and therefore must have been inserted later by the liberals.

Now I’m going to tell you another section under suspicion, see if you can spot the theme in the passages being questioned.

First Example - Liberal Falsehood

The earliest, most authentic manuscripts lack this verse set forth at Luke 23:34:^[7]

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Is this a liberal corruption of the original? This does not appear in any other Gospel, and the simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing. This quotation is a favorite of liberals but should not appear in a conservative Bible.

First off, I learned it as “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.” But let’s not quibble about semantics. The pattern I mentioned earlier was one of removing references to Christ’s mercy, mercy to the accused adulteress and now mercy upon those who killed Him. So conservatives are “translating” the bible in order to cut out the bits about mercy? Wow! What’s more, look at the second to last line. This does not appear in any other Gospel, and the simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing. Am I the only one who sees someone deranged person reading this as “It’s OK to hate the Jews for killing Jesus.”

Speaking of semantics, it’s no longer Holy Spirit or Holy Ghost. When you say it in conservative, you say “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Divine Guardian.” Will someone please tell me what idiot came up with that idea and why they think it matters?

But what are they actually changing? Here are some passages from the OFFICAL Conservative Bible. From left to right, the King James Version (don’t get me started), the translated version, and any comments. All of these come from the Gospel of Matthew Ch.1:

Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren;

Abraham was the father of Isaac, who was the father of Jacob, who was the father of Judas and his brothers,

The passive "was the father" emphasizes the ancestry.

All the begats look like this.

Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

Jospeh was a righteous man and thus felt he should divorce her, but he did not want to humiliate her, so he wished for the divorce to be private.

This emphasizes that Joseph is right to object to suspected adultery, but that even in these circumstances, divorce is a last option.

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

The birth of Jesus Christ happened this way: His mother, Mary, was engaged to Jospeh, but before they were married, she became pregnant with the child of the Divine Guardian.

Again, a pattern emerges. The Bible should be a simple book. Something you don’t have to think about or meditate upon, that’s hard work. Jesus doesn’t want you to have to work hard.

So Jesus is a douche, mercy is for losers, and the bible needs to be written for the illiterate. Got it?

The really scary thing is that these people are serious.

Ego Rush

The human ego never ceases to amaze me. The capacity for one person to artificially inflate his or her importance to near godlike levels is truly astounding. Today’s case in point is a man who is fast becoming something of a regular here on You’ve Got to Be Kidding: Mr. Rush Limbaugh.

It’s making the rounds on the news feeds that His Rush-ness has made an open challenge to MSNBC (the most popular cable news network among Intello-Americans). The challenge is simple, for MSNBC to go 30 days without mentioning a story involving Rush. Limbaugh’s logic is that this will cause the ratings of MSNBC to plummet. The following is Limbaugh’s exact quote:

“Throughout the busy broadcast day, MSNBC cannot go an hour without mentioning me or playing video of me or having me discussed,” Limbaugh said. “I challenge you, MSNBC! Thirty days without anything mentioning me. No video of me, no guests commenting on me. See if you can do it.” Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0509/22731.html#ixzz0G5s77Dbw&B

Like a big stinking onion, let us peal back the lairs of idiocy involved with this one. First, what are the stakes of this challenge exactly? If MSNBC does indeed do this, what do they get? If Rush is challenging, then he must be offering a prize. So what reward will there be? Rush never mentions one so let me offer some suggestions of my own:

1. Rush agrees to put his show on hiatus for an equivalent 30 days.
2. Rush agrees to go on a celebrity reality show where we can watch him be humiliated for our amusement (I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, The Biggest Loser, and an Amazing Race team with Bill’O all spring to mind).
3. Rush gives President Obama one get-out-of-BS-free card. Obama can cash this card in on any one piece of legislation and when he does, Rush has to order the GOP to stop the BS and actually help Obama get something done.
4. Rush agrees to be water boarded alongside Sean Hannity (coward) with Keith Olbermann water boarding one and the winner of a charity raffle water boarding the other.
5. Rush agrees to commit Seppuku. (OK, that’s going a bit far, I admit.)

The next layer of our Onion of Wrong is actually some really sneaky trickery on Rush’s part (the man is not as stupid as he looks). Again, it relates to the terms of the so called challenge. What exactly counts as a “mention” on MSNBC? Theoretically, if MSNBC so much as acknowledges this challenge, then they lose and Rush mocks them for it. If they don’t talk about it and just drop any Boss Limbaugh material, then they’ve just caved to Rush’s demands. It’s a lose-lose situation.

The great stinky core of our onion (and yes I’m officially done with that metaphor) is that Rush doesn’t get the point. MSNBC isn’t giving him coverage and free publicity, they are mocking him. Limbaugh specifically cites the footage of his CPAC speech a couple of months ago. Yes, MSNBC plays the footage of him bouncing up and down behind the lectern when ever they talk about him, but only because the image of a bouncing fat man with no sense of decorum is funny.

Rush, the smart kids are MAKING FUN OF YOU! I can’t put it any clearer than that. The simple fact that Rush doesn’t get it is precisely why we won’t stop.

Until next time, I’m RyuSensei, and I’m not kidding.

The Mad Texan's Tea Party

I have come to the conclusion that the 2008 election was a political centrifuge. All of the logic, maturity, and foresight of the Republican aspect of congress was spun down until only the batty, childlike, and blind remained as a fine paste on the bottom of the tube.

The latest piece of an ever expanding evidence chain materialized on the 15th of April 2009. Yes, teabag day. I’m not going to rehash the premise of the tea bagging, but I am going to explain the joke for everyone too old (my family) or too stupid (the tea baggers) to get why this is so funny. However, the next two paragraphs will be hidden unless and until you highlight them with your mouse to give you the option of skipping the gory details . . .

Tea bagging refers the sexual practice of one male standing over their partner (male or female) and repeatedly crouching down and standing up. The intended effect is for the male to cause his testicles to either hit the partner on the back of the head (as a male: OOOOOOOOOUCHH!!!) or to dip the testicles in the partner’s mouth similar to the dipping of a tea bag in a cup of hot water.

The practice came into common teenage and college age vernacular several years ago due to the popularity of the video game Halo. Halo is a first person shooter (FPS) war simulation with a science fiction setting. In the game, the player is able to make their character crouch down to either duck an enemy attack or take advantage of cover. It has become common practice in the game’s popular online multiplayer mode to quickly use this crouch feature over the body of a slain enemy (the bodies take a few seconds to disappear) as a victory dance. This is known as tea bagging. For the record, the few times I’ve played Halo, I greatly enjoyed shooting tea baggers in the head as they came out from their bases to perform this ridiculous dance (I also enjoyed the extra points I got for the head shots).

. . . and they’re called aristocrats! Anyway, the highlight of the tea bagging was Republican Governor Rick Perry of Texas. Oh Texas, I love when you’re in the news. The jokes just write themselves. This time, the theme is Texan secession from the union. Gov. Perry, speaking to a mass tea bagging (snicker) event is quoted by the Huston Chronicle as having said the following:

"Texas is a unique place. When we came into the union in 1845, one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decided to do that," Perry said. "My hope is that America and Washington in particular pays attention. We've got a great union. There's absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, who knows what may come of that."

You have got to be kidding me! Did he actually PLAN this? If he was improving and said something stupid, then that’s one thing. But if he wrote (or had someone write) this, then he is out of his mind. I realize that he was pandering to the right wing-nut base, but I can’t believe that nobody pointed out the negative repercussions of this statement.

Looking at the quote itself, there are several points to make. First, I need to admit that I don’t know much about Texas history (by the same token, I doubt many Texans know much about Oregon history, welcome to local control of education). Perry may very well be right about the understanding in 1845, but it doesn’t matter. One of the first things one learns about the American legal system is that when new laws contradict old laws, the new laws win every time. The second thing is that the US Supreme Court is just that, the supreme authority of what is and is not legal.

With that in mind, I give you the case of Texas v White of 1869 (note: 1869 is after 1845). The main finding of the case is that Texas, along with the other confederate states, retains statehood despite their actions during the American civil war and officially never left. Further more, the court ruled that states CAN NOT SECEDE FROM THE UNION unilaterally. However, the court did leave open the possibility for dissolving the union by deciding that a state can secede if the other states agree (presumably via an act of congress, though the decision doesn’t mention it specifically).

The vote was 5-3 (there were only 8 justices until the Judiciary Act of 1869 added one). The majority consisted of Chief Justice Salmon P. Chase and Associate Justices Samuel Nelson, Nathan Clifford, David Davis, and Stephen J. Field. Associate Justices Robert C. Grier, Samuel F. Miller, and Noah H. Swayne dissented. Interestingly, the dissenting opinion was that Texas no longer qualified as a state because a state, by definition, is represented in congress. All the confederate states lost said representation during the war (true) and were therefore better classified as conquered provinces. Imagine what America would look like now if that opinion had won out.

So, what Gov. Perry is backhandedly suggesting is completely illegal and possibly treasonous. Now, I don’t blame him for not knowing about this law (although I found out about it after about 3 minutes on Google, what does that say?) because many Texans seem to have the idea in their heads that I-can-quit-any-time-I-want-to when it comes to the United States.

My sister lives in Texas and my parents were there about a year ago for my niece’s high school graduation. After standing for the national anthem, my parents began to sit down but noticed that they were the only one’s doing so. The crowd then joyfully recited the Texas State Pledge of Allegiance: "Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God, one and indivisible." (Credit to the Texas State Library & Archives Commission)

Damn!

Since when is being from a certain state more important then being American? What happened to being the United States of America? Should we just call ourselves the ANA (Associated Nations of America) and have done? This is getting a little scary.

Just for the heck of it, let’s complete the Texas Trifecta of Disturbing with the news that South Oak Cliff High School in Dallas is in a nuclear fire storm of trouble because of staff members allegedly (you aren’t going to believe this) setting up bare knuckle cage fights between students.

Let that sink in for a second.



A little longer.




There!
I swear I’m not making this up. In fact, here’s the link: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090320/ap_on_re_us/school_cage_fights;_ylt=AlfSWA226WHLX3ICmGop3cFQXs8F

Allegedly, these fights took place in an “Equipment storage cage,” in the gym and were a popular spectator sport among the student body. It sounds like there were no rules, no ref, nothing. The kids just fought until the issue was settled. And no, they weren’t imitating Mixed Martial Arts or the UFC. MMA is one of the most tightly regulated sports in the world so don’t even go there.

The really sick thing is that the school is barely even denying it. Some quotes from the article linked above:

"The principal and other employees at South Oak Cliff High knew about the cage fights and allowed the practice to continue, according to a 2008 report by school system investigators."

"In the report, a teacher was quoted as saying Moten told security personnel to put two fighting students "in the cage and let `em duke it out.""

"The report said a hall monitor, Gary King, told investigators he witnessed the head of campus security and an assistant basketball coach place two students in the cage to fight."

"The newspaper reported Thursday that Angela Williamson, a parent, said she was ignored when she attempted to bring the matter to the attention of district administrators after her son, Cortland, told her that students stood around clapping and screaming while watching a fight he participated in. He and another student fought for five to ten minutes in the cage in 2004. She said the students acted as if they were in an arena."

And my personal favorite:
"She said she met with a football coach who had encouraged the fights.
"He told me this is how they settled disputes in his day," she said."

Yeah, and in your day, people of certain skin colors weren’t allowed in your school. Ya wanna go back to that too bub? It is fairly well known by those that know me that I hold the American public education system in fairly low esteem. But this is ridiculous!

And to any Texans who may be reading this, I understand that not all Texans are like this and that most of them resemble human beings in their thoughts and behavior. That said, if any Texan ever questioned why their state has a reputation for being the most likely insertion point should America ever need an enema . . . this is why.

Until nest time, I'm RyuSensei and I'm not kidding.

No, he really means it.

RUSH LIMBAUGH CHALLENGES PRESIDENT OBAMA TO A DEBATE! This time I really wish I WAS kidding.

Yes, the king of the right wing (or if you live in Spokane WA, “That moderate guy on the radio.”) has challenged the President of the United States to come on his radio show and debate him. According to the AP:

“If these guys are so impressed with themselves, and if they are so sure of their correctness, why doesn't President Obama come on my show? We will do a one-on-one debate of ideas and policies,” Limbaugh said on his radio program Wednesday. “So let's have the debate! I am offering President Obama to come on this program — without staffers, without a TelePrompTer, without note cards — to debate me on the issues.”

OK, a few quick points here. In actual presidential debates, the participants ARE allowed note cards and even memo pads. Remember all those shots of Obama taking notes while his opponents were speaking? Also, all those things that Obama wouldn’t have, is Rush saying he’d give up those advantages too? Would he force all the staff of his radio show to leave the building? Lastly, “I’m offering President Obama to…” does Rush realize that he doesn’t own Obama and therefore can’t offer him to anyone or anything? For a man who insists English should be the national language, he should at least be able to get his possessives straight.

Enough nitpicking, let’s get down to the real issue at hand here. Who the Tartarus does Limbaugh think he is? Why would the President of the United States (or any sane person for that matter) debase themselves by coming on his show? The President has a lot to do such as running a country, helping his children grow up under a spotlight, ending wars, and using the toilet. All of which come well ahead of debating Rush Limbaugh.

All that said, I would LOVE to see a debate between these two because Barack Obama would tear that man (and I use the term loosely) into bite sized chunks. But I would have to insist on a fair debate. That means neutral territory. There is no way you are going to convince me that a debate hosted on Limbaugh’s own radio show would be even remotely impartial. For example, if Rush’s minions control the microphones, then they control who get’s to speak, when, and for how long. This is fair how?

Get the two of them on stage at some university or another and let the cameras roll. If Rush thinks he can hang in Obama’s league, then let it be a real debate, not a 90 second apiece “sound bite-off.” President Obama has made himself a reputation as the guy who gives you the long detailed answers and assumes you are smart enough to deal with it. I doubt Rush can even come close to matching that. This is a man who can’t go 3 sentences without stumbling over his words, repeating himself, or interjecting space fillers such as um and er. (Granted, the improvised nature of a live chat show contributes to this)

But back to my original point, it ain’t gonna happen because Rush Limbaugh isn’t worth the President’s time.

Until next time, I’m RyuSensei and I’m not kidding.

Obama, I love ya, but come ON man!

OBAMA MAKES A F#$* UP!

OK, I’ll cop to being a shameless Obama supporter, but I will admit that the man is capable of making mistakes (Trusting the GOP to go along with the “new era of bipartisanship” springs to mind). But now Obama has made a possible game changer of a screw up in the field of cabinet nominees.

President Obama has named former Washington State Governor Gary Locke as his third pick for Secretary of Commerce. Gary Locke? You have to be kidding.

I was living in Washington State during Locke’s tenure as Governor and he was, for the most part, not completely incompetent. However, there is one area where he sends up a burning hot red flag: Education. Education 2000 to be exact.

Education 2000 was a conference held in the last year of the twentieth century. The goal was to define a curriculum that would be used to write a state wide exam for high school students, with the eventual goal of having this test be a graduation requirement. This was before No Child Gets Ahead came along and soiled the whole concept. There were several things that went wrong with this event, but only one relates to former Gov. Locke

Before I go any further, I must confess that I’m working off of second hand information. One of my professors at Washington State University attended this conference and LOVED to tell horror stories to her College of Education students. The employees of WSU are mostly fools and knaves, but I trust this particular teacher enough to relay this story.

It was the end of the conference (whether it was also a dark and stormy night I’ll leave to your imaginations). The curriculum has been finalized and everyone is patting each other on the back and enjoying the last of the free food (teachers are one of those groups to whom, if you promise free food, you had better deliver if you value your kidneys).

It was about that time that the Governor rolled up and gave the final approval for what would and would not go into the test, and therefore what subjects would and would not be funded and focused on in schools. Please note that he had not attended the rest of the conference and was only looking at a bullet point list of subjects.

The subjects that he crossed out and essentially eliminated from Washington State public schools include, but are not limited to:

Health

Listening Skills

Art

Geography (as a separate subject from Social Studies)

and Civics (CIVICS! The professional politician cut CIVICS from the exam that tests whether or not students know what they need to know to be proper members of US society! W! T! F!!)

Now both of you may be wondering (and please note that I make no illusions about my readership) why any of this matters for the Commerce Secretary. Fair question. To find the answer, just re-watch President Obama’s I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-a State of the Union address. One of Obama’s stated priorities to fix America was a heavy investment in Education. Who controls where and how that money is spent? If you said the Commerce Department, you get a gold star. And who will be running the department if he is confirmed? That’s right! The man who thinks Americans don’t need to know how the government works, how to find China on a map, or how to follow basic instructions.

Just to be clear, we’re all aware that this is a bad idea, right?

Until next time, I’m RyuSensei and I’m not kidding.

Ready for rapid fire

I have been writing for thid thing, I swear, but I just haven't gotten around to posting any of it yet. Combine this with the fact that I'm forever a news cycle or so behind (what with being on the other side of the world and all) that my materia is usually out of date before I post it. However, I love to hear myself talk, or type, or whatever. Therefore get ready for several rapid fire posts over the next hour or so.